Day 11

Gist of my day: Awoke early (8ish) at my house with Jezebel and Elijah, got up for a minute, snuggled back in.  Woke up again ca 11:30 a.m. and had hot 3 way.  Cleaned my room for a few hours and had a discussion with J and E.  Jezebel left for an appointment, more sex.  Step-dad Abel comes over, we talk for several hours while smoking up some herbs.  He gives us great advice and discusses a lot of interesting issues with us, about poly and about my dad and growing up with a polyamorous cultish-type upbringing.  We also talked extensively about Scientology, Mentation, and the works of Robert A. Heinlein.  At my behest, Elijah is reading Stranger in a Strange Land over the past few days.  (Originally I was reading it aloud to him but he finally got into it and started reading on his own, which makes me so happy on many levels.)  Talking with Abel was a very good experience and a necessary conversation to have, considering the apprehension that I've had about Abel since I moved back in late July.  There is a lot to learn from he and my mom.  They have lived a lot of life.  Plus it really strengthened the mutual understanding between Elijah and I, especially since we were in a fight yesterday over the 'Uriah Issue'.

Ahh, Portland.

Anyway, after that the cleaning continued.  Jezebel came back to get us, my clothes got folded, hung up, and put away (FINALLY), and we got our stuff together to drive from my place in SW (near downtown) to Elijah's place in North Portland (NoPo as it is known, though I call it the Wilderness cuz it's far North).  Jezebel was meeting Ahijah for a Zumba/dancing date and was agitated about being a little late for it.

There seemed to be some tension about E and I getting a ride but I also think there was also some tension on the heels of a long, long conversation the three of us had the night before.  Basically we were hashing out our real feelings about the triad and what our motivations were in it and etc etc.  I don't wish to get into that now because it's such a long, agitating story.

BUT, an interesting thing that I had to admit to everyone during this drawn-out discussion was that I have feelings for Ahijah.  Just a crush, really, but a genuine one.  The magic of the 3-sum we had is undeniable, though.  I had to, at the time, come clean about it because it's weird and I don't think he likes me that way.  Elijah pretty much jumped up and wanted to leave because someone else might've broken open feelings in me.  During a sexual experience he was part of, I may add, and therefore the feelings that were broken open during that were open to him as well.  Consider that that day was the first day that I ever believed Elijah when he said, "I love you" to me, and the first day that I said it back.

Now E and I are here at his house and missing dance and J and A are out together.  E and I are having a quiet night and it is necessary considering all of the extensive drama that has come about.