Gossip About Everyone That's On My Mind Right Now

Under the cut, so it doesn't take up so much space.


Cyrus: Just Facebook stalked him for a while. Not sure why he bothers me so. He's just so fucking stupid. And ugly. Honestly, who dates a girl for 1.5 months and even though it's clearly not going well, moves into her room when she gets a new place and then tries to sign the lease to stay there against her wishes? And won't even get out when asked the first couple of times? He threw a bonified hissy fit when I wouldn't pay for him to go to Hawaii or San Diego with me, like I owed him something.

It's even more annoying that he gets to pretend to be heartbroken and play the victim to all those Polyamory/Ecstatic Dance cult fucks who then sympathize with him and make me into some sort of villain for not letting his whiny passive-aggressive ass walk all over me anymore. What would all you annoying motherfuckers have me do, really? Pay for his whole life? Have him staying in my fucking room forever even though I want to move on, just because I fear your judgement? Not break up with him ever because his tender bleeding little heart might be crushed? FUCK YOU. I've been crushed so hard by people I was actually in love with and this mini piece of shit interaction that lasted far too long is this guys worst heartbreak? What a cush ass little life this stupid bum has then. Seriously, everything about him just annoys me so fucking much. I *really* regret him.

Halah: I don't regret but am still annoyed at. Couldn't he have just been normal? Not telling me he loved me after only a couple weeks and clearly not meaning it? I think saying those words means you're on a serious life-long path with a person no matter what; though the way he used it, the whole concept was cheapened. Which puts me in the position to say that I told him I loved him and didn't mean it (he just kept saying it and I gave in one day), although he also didn't mean it so they cancel out.

Anyway, he had the fucking nerve to text me out of the blue a couple days ago, asking me to take him to Hungry Tiger because it was his birthday. He was a complete asshole and a liar and totally stomped on my feelings, yet somehow expected that would happen?  Not only that, but when I asked what time he basically answered, "Right now." NO I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT DROP EVERYTHING FOR YOU AFTER BREAKING UP AND NOT SEEING YOU FOR 2 MONTHS. I hated you while we were dating and was so ridiculously glad to have your short, whiny, self-centered, unsexy, politically correct, somehow-saggy-despite-constantly-biking-around ass off my grill, then you think I'm going to spend money and more importantly time with you just because you're lonely on your motherfucking birthday? YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT THROUGH BEFORE YOU WERE SUCH A DICK TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU.

Luckily I was sitting at Ruth's house with Josiah and sort of laughed it off and said I was busy, to which he responded with a stunning, "Then you can buy me coffee later, maybe. I'll holla." I didn't respond for 5 hours, and when I did, it was with a quote from his last text message before the break: "It didn't work out. Time to move on." His response: "It didn't. And I did. I just thought coffee would be cool." Which I promptly deleted while laughing about it with Ruth at the bar.

Sole: Sorry about what I said about her before. She called me this morning and is actually being super cool. She lives in Portland now! Astoreth still hates her bf, so who knows how it will all play out. But it will be super nice to have my sister here.

Hannah: IN YOUR FACE, bitch! I love her to death, so I mean this all from that place of sisterliness, but she can be a total cunt sometimes. Her and her little husband thought it was "cute" when I got a storage unit as my "own place". She often lorded it over me that she is married to someone with a good job and has two cute kids now, as though I seriously lack something because I don't have that. Guess what bitch? YOU SETTLED. You settled for a guy who was your second boyfriend ever and who's not an intellectual and isn't on your level and you fucking know it. You literally said, "I guess he'll do," the night before your wedding.

In these tough times and for the state of Oregon you seem to have a decent life on paper, although you do live in East P-town out in the trashy Numbers (albeit in a nicer section). It just so happened during the bad economy that your relatively pedestrian husband still could make more money than most so you got to sit on your ass and make babies. Unlike how everyone else coos over your damn marriage, I'm sitting in my fabulous apartment downtown and traveling and making my own money to blow on booze and shoes and having hot 3 sums. And honestly, having to endure hanging out with your baby daddy is like trying to make banter about watching paint dry, with him adding some passive-aggressive put-downs in there that I don't want to call him the fuck out on because it would just add insult to injury (I assume he does that due to his own inferiority complex), and probably ruin my ability to ever come hang out again. And when I reach a level of career success, I'm still going to further in-your-face it when I have super beautiful children with some 25-year-old professional artist, so please quit acting like you have the life you do because you're blessed: You're just lazy, and we both know it.

Also, I can leave the house whenever I want to.

Feels so good to just vent like this!!!

JUST READ THIS IN MY LJ FROM 2005: "Today I have made the revelation: My journal probably sounds EXTREMELY bitter and more than a little bit dick. I have often told myself that I am not going to censor my writing, and having the posts at "Friends Only" has helped with this immensely. However, I sense that could really do a whole lot better than being depressive and talking shit. The past few months have been stressful, and I am going through some changes, and handling some changes very poorly. Today is going to be different. Starting today, I am going to try to relax, and stop being so morose and self-pitying. Approach things like someone who isn't afraid to live, and who is grateful for the gifts in her life."

OH YES IT DID. Wow, I have apparently learned absolutely nothing in the past 8 years, as my journal still sounds extremely bitter and more than a little bit dick.