Revelations Left and Right

No one I ever date or am friends with should ever ever read this blog until they know me really, really well.

I sound really un-compassionate, although that's not at all the case IRL... It's more that this blog serves as a sounding board for all the angst I have inside.

I'm not really sure how I got such a "life is hard, buck the fuck up" attitude. I think because my life has been difficult and dark at times.

But I like this about myself. It pervades my sense of beauty and creativity. I stuff all my feelings about people and about things I see that strike me as sad and unjust, and blow them off in ire through writing. Life is hard, I know that. I don't think anyone should be shielded or covered from that. Either you'd be devastatingly shattered to learn the truth, or you'd live in a bubble your whole life and never really understand how the world is– the latter of which I consider far worse.

The revelations for me are nearly free-flowing at this point. When it rains it pours! Why I'm so switched on:

Resolving my Personal Conflix

Today is a beautiful day out the window of my downtown apartment. This weekend was incredibly lovely as well, with Ladies Weekend kicking ass and a great St. Patty's Day followed by a slasher movie with Thom. Ishbar is a good influence, for sure. She's very calm and collected and focused. Jerusha is a great too. And really, all of my other lovely friends.

For anyone who follows this (IDK if anyone does, although someone is reading at least, as discerned from the occasional snarky comment), I changed Ruth's name back to Ruth. She didn't like the name I originally picked for her, and after last week's little upset, I thought, "She totally doesn't merit the name Ruth." However, I realized thanks to Ishbar and reading aloud to her while we were riding home from the book she got this weekend:

Dad Used to Say

"Don't mock the afflicted."

I think that means, Stay fucking classy, Raine. Quit ranting about people in your blog. Even if it is really really funny.

Don't ever look back.They might be gaining on you

I'm about to leave for Girls weekend.

Last night, I was dancing with my friends at a friend's DJ set in a smallish dive bar on the East side after the anti-fluoridation rally. We got to the show last night and said "Cheers" after we took turns bitching and made eye contact and laughed away our problems. Then, dancing and merriment with many of my dearest loving friends: Jerusha, Jezebel, Ahijah, Thom, Sole, Ishbar, Haman, Barakel, and a host of others un-named for the purposes of the story of this blog.

From my Livejournal, September 28, 2001

I filled out this survey like 11.5 years ago, and it explains so much!

Thom would be proud of my choosing Phish in my bands.

♥♥Self Love♥♥

<zOMG I have writer's block so bad>

Gossip About Everyone That's On My Mind Right Now

Under the cut, so it doesn't take up so much space.

Starving Artist, West Side

It's been a couple weeks.

I've been gone for work.

Then, I disappeared into the world of Ruth for a while.

I like that world.

But, I have my own apartment now. Finally! For the first time in many years. I'm on the lease and everything. It's a huge FUCK YOU to everyone who hated on me while I was down. Because, let's face it, the place is fucking sweet as hell.