Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Alcohol fueled nostalgia

Drunk after my friends' annual Christmas party & doing blow.
Being nostalgic about country music.
Letting it make me happy from the secrecy of my room. 
Being me and not caring for a moment. Remembering with each song in this 'favorites' list why it got there and what it means to me/ says to me.
Sometimes there's so little to remind you of who YOU are that you just have to feel joyful. Even if your partner left the party early & is sick & depressed because he 'hates the holidays'. 
I don't think he's right forever but he's helping me learn so much right now. And I hope vice versa.
Yet, I also see that either one person can never be enough as a lover or that people learn to live with letting a part of themselves atrophy.
Which is right? I oft default into poly. But is that just a cop out for not being able to make it work with a single life partner? Can you have a life partner and eventually learn to also appreciate other lovers for helping you in ways that other person isn't? Or is that just giving up on the life partner? And if you can appreciate other lovers, is it really possible to do so honestly?!

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