Monogamy

I don't know about this monogamy thing. I don't like feeling jealous. I'm already insecure and I don't enjoy the feeling that if I mis-step in any way, I'll get 'cheated on' and lied to about it. I loathe the feeling that I'll be replaced for a newer model someday because people can't share. 

Poly solves a lot of those issues. You deal with jealousy. You know the person will fuck someone else and not lie to you about it and keep your agreements. You know that sharing is possible and your lovers never have to leave you to try out the newer model.

The upshot is, a monogamous relationship puts me back in good footing with the rest of the non-poly, not sex-positive world. An upshot that gives me relief from feeling like I always have to defend myself and be an activist, but also one that I loathe.

People, including Andrew, point out that I'm quick to jump to poly for all the answers. That it's more emotionally challenging and mature to resolve one's trust issues than to base your life around not having to have that type of trust. 

I beg to differ. I mean, I can't be on time to anything to save my soul, and rather than learn a lost cause lesson, I now just base most of my day on not having to be anywhere at any particular time for the most part. So, why learn to trust? Same thing.

The problem is, what Andrew and I have is so, so very special. I never thought I would ever have someone like him. He's incredible. I love him a lot, though we have never said it. (I'm giving it 6-12 months, I think that's fair for really knowing if you love someone... And if he hasn't said it by then, he never will.)

Oh, this is officially our 2 month anniversary. That's a lot in Raine time.