Urban Tribe

I awoke this morning at the house of some friends on MLK.  It was beautiful.  I had biked there directly from leaving work at 8pm for a dinner party the night before. The ride lasted for about an hour, through the pouring rain.  How delighted I was to find an array of Indian food, Mexican cheese (I had to!), wine, fruit, and best of all, a roof-top hot tub party.  I awoke early this morning to clean the apartment for them before meeting a dance friend for breakfast. They let me stay by myself there even though Isaiah and some other people I knew better eventually left, since I didn't want to leave my bike and had an early breakfast date nearby.

The three of us joked around and chatted and spoke of the Urban Tribe that has sprung up among young adults in Portland.  The feeling it gives me to be a part of it rings very true, and is quite comforting.  They all tell each other "I love you," openly, even men to each other, and are totally there for each other if anyone needs it.  The thought that there is really a tribe of people here that like to do fun things together and support each other's endeavors is something I missed out in Vermont, and it makes Portland feel even more like home.

It gives me so much joy!

Chatting with my dance friend for about 3 hours this morning was awesome, too.  People are so very interesting and friendly if you allow them to be.

My job now literally includes just chatting with business representatives and owners to find their "voice", and then taking on that voice to write a story for their website and blog that is interesting and attractive to the target audience.  I love it!  I could not be more blessed.

I have an interesting story about an encounter with Alvan the Dom that I will need to save ;)  It is a healing story.  Being a sub is like therapy, I think.  It was intense, and IDK all of the implications yet, but I do feel a lot better after the session.  Which was non-sexual, BTW.

I think healing is the journey I am on right now.

I have been having an amazing time with writing and with my family and with Uriah and Isaiah and my friends and the Tribe.  It's just Uriah and I again, being pals as always, but at least now openly loving each other.  I haven't had sex in almost a week now, but the last time was with Uriah and it rocked!  I also recently have been getting close to Ishod, who I have liked for a while and who is an amazing person.

I have not seen Elijah for a week, since he screamed at me while dropping me off at my bike.  He and I were getting along and being friends, but he got jealous over a girl I shall call Ishbar and wound up spewing venom at me.  We reunited to talk things out about the Beltane party on Cinco de Mayo, which we both wanted to go to without drama.  For a week, we were friends again and things were great: He was part of my life and fun to see, and I could still go on my merry way w my own friends and the Tribe, and Uriah (who he's always been jealous of, as well).  I think he was even more jealous that I had all these plans with friends that he was not invited to.  I'm surprised he cares!  If there's no sex or talking extensively about sex and relationships and polyamory involved, he basically thinks it's boring and not worthwhile.

Elijah and I spoke a few days ago via text messages that lasted all fucking day.  He did admit to jealousy and anger issues, which is a start for him to actually be polyamorous.  Before me, I think he just couldn't keep it in his pants and thought 'poly' meant him fucking other women while convincing his loving partners at the particular time that she needed to deal with it.  Which it sounds like some did better than others.

Honestly, I think I represent the first poly gf he's ever had; and not just one who fucked other ppl or put up with his philandering, but one who did not love only him. It culminated in his wanting me to go sleep in his trailer that night while he spent the night w someone else, so that he could come home in the morning and "make love" to me– and perhaps truly expecting that it would happen.

My realization about him, and the Tribe, this morning, was that he is not a part of my life.  He considers these people to be boring because they don't all want to have sex with him or have orgies all the time.  I feel like love and friendship are more than that.  I wouldn't have him as my date to my work parties and I wouldn't introduce him to my friends and family.  And the friends and family that did meet him do not like him at all, to say the least.

The story about him, and the D-bag I dated before him, and Ezekiel, even, is that I need truly to find a partner that is also a friend and is also a part of what I now recognize as the Urban Tribe of all my friends and family and acquaintances.  That is very important to me.

Well, I could go on, but it's 3:15.  Guess that's 'time'!